5 Tips for Working With a Mentor
Successful People Have Had Help
You may have seen this quote by Jim Rohn before, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I’m not sure if that can be proven, but most of us would naturally think about gathering five of the “right kind” of people around us that reflect who we want to become.
It also means that we are influencing those around us whether it is intentional or not. Our questions then become “am I having a positive impact on the people closest to me,” and “am I attracting the kind of people I want to be like?”
Leadership expert John C. Maxwell says that “leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” We are leading everyone we influence, even if we are not conscious of it or if we are doing so in a negative way. Maxwell also shares the principle that we must first lead ourselves before we can positively influence others.
Positive, successful, growth minded people do not choose to spend time with complainers and negative people. Therefore, the desirable qualities that we want in our friends and associates we should strive to develop in ourselves. Become the kind of person we want to attract into our lives.
Where would one begin?
- To raise the quality of your inner circle, think of people you admire and respect, then make a list of the positive character qualities you see in them.
- Invite one or more of the people you admire to coffee or lunch and ask them to tell their story. What character qualities and values were most important in their development? What challenges did they overcome to become a person of character and accomplishment? What do they value in the people they respect the most?
- When you meet with someone who is receptive to speaking with you, ask them to mentor you for a time.
A mentor is someone who has gone before you and can instruct on the skills, attitudes, and habits characteristic of the kind of person you wish to be. My experience is that many successful people are willing to help others when they know someone is sincerely trying to improve their life.
Here are some tips on making the most of a mentor relationship:
- Respect their time by preparing good questions to help you gain understanding and take the next step.
- Be teachable - humility is another good word. Otherwise, why would they take time to talk with you?
- Be accountable to do what you say you will do.
- In your next meeting tell them, “This is what I heard you say, and this is how I applied it. Now, can I ask you more questions?”
- Share your successes and thank them for their advice. If your results were sub-par, evaluate any adjustments needed, and tell them the lessons you learned.
Most highly successful people will tell you they had someone along the way who helped them navigate the challenges of life and business. Sadly, many people struggle because they do not have the confidence or awareness to seek the help of the people they respect.
The first step in finding a good mentor is simply asking for help
After you have benefitted from a good mentor, look for someone else to help as you’ve been helped.
Do you have a story to share of a mentor in your life who helped you grow in your work or in navigating your life?
Tad Douglas Coaching
502-265-5036
